Wednesday, June 11, 2014

PROUSTIAN MIND-GUT BLAST! WENDY'S SALAD BAR NEVER DIES INSIDE MY MIND, CHOLESTEROL NEVER ABANDONS MY HEART!

Proustian flash of the Wendy's salad bar.
Iceberg lettuce, little tomatoes, lotsa ranch dressing, bacon bits.
Don't forget to ladle on the nacho cheese with Biggie Sized French fries a-floating, a-sinking, a-delicious!
And then for seasoning: liberal amounts of shredded synth-cheddar,
AND! AND! AND!
I usually like to sneak in a can of those ice cream sprinkles, since they didn't have soft serve apparatus,
But be sharp about your business.
Don't wanna be banned from Earthly Paradise (aka Wendy's) for bringing in verboten outside vittles.
And wasn't it bizarre that you could pour nacho cheese onto your salad,
But they didn't have any tortilla chips?
Well, blessings come in many guises.
Who needs weak, brittle tortilla chips
When I can just buy twenty-seven double stacks with cheese?
Grip 'em and dip 'em and stuff  'em to my heart's content.
Sometimes I'd even sneak in a couple or three or four bags
Of Arby's roast-beef-and-cheddars,
So I could squeeze a double stack 'tween two roast-beef-and-cheddars,
And grip 'em and dip 'em and stuff 'em
'Til I puke!
'Til I puke up my heart!
'Til I puke up my heart's content!
"Now that's better!" goes the new propaganda.
Once it was the best.
And it beat hell outta the madeleines.
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