Suitmation II: the Designated Kaiju Heel
by William D. Tucker
Flesh in flight
selling the full body burn
I'm gettin' beyond body,
don't know what form I'll take
when they cut me outta this ruin of foam rubber'n'fiberglass,
figure I'll secrete a new monster-get up
since my lungs have taken in all the toxic fumes,
my cells'll take up the recipe,
suit up on command by force of will-a new attraction!
Time to renegotiate my contract.
You'll mostly know me
if you actually read the credits
as the designated heel
fatespun by a slumming science fiction novelist
bought off by the studio
rammed through the literary acquisitions dept. by executive decree
bit of a shakeup in the trades
So here I am burning alive
obliterated by the reptilian light of justice
friend of all the children,
defender of the earth,
I don't even get to play the whole death scene, natch,
gotta dress it up optically
close-ups of rigged to blow miniature devil horns lizard Mussolini head-
I could do that all myself
Why won't they let me go full Method?
I could be the Rod Steiger of kaiju designated heels,
make my own face burst into flame by force of sense memory!
Not to mention the sound effects need rerecording
but that's me in the suit rolling around on fire, brother!
light me up.
I played the full body burn
probably almost died,
do it again in an atomic second.
I'd die, if it sold the scene,
even if the press would suck.
Ignite my ass,
drape me in detonating cord like Christmas lights,
fill the sky blue painted backdrop with my molded foam rubber remains,
I'd find a way to reincarnate.
Not to mention the immortality achieved in the hearts and minds of fans worldwide!
the ultimate overrated zero-biggie.
We should never fear to serve the cackling fates
of B-movie studio mandates.
Copyright 2017 by William D. Tucker. All rights reserved. Used with permission.