Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Making the Villain Fist

The Invisible Man,
Dr. Doom and countless aspiring conquerors drawn by Ditko and Kirby,
Darth Vader,
crushing the cosmos in a fearsome gloved or gauntleted hand,
compacting Reality down into an ultra-dense chess piece,
it's a thing these people do, you know?

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Every Day Is Halloween 2

Every Day Is Halloween 2
by William D. Tucker 

Sequel
slash the budget
dump it in some film school grad's lap
command and control functions stay with the producer

Maximize marketing budget
optimize gore
optimize tits
optimize confusing, pseudo-arty shaky-cam bullshit
optimize shouting
optimize piss' n'shit grim'n'gritty color palette
optimize bogus "true story" websites

Economize talent
shoot in an anti-union right-to-work state
hire actors with low Q-ratings
for low pay
work them like pack animals

Strangely,
there's always money for 3-D post-conversion

If it's a hit,
crank out another one,
same formula

If it bombs,
write it down,
dodge some taxes

It isn't art,
nor is it truly entertainment,
but it's a healthy living
for the New Era Corporate Citizen.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Broccoli Gears

Broccoli gears
imagine giant gears
like you see in the obligatory clock tower stage
in one of those Castlevania games
teeth rotating into each other's gaps
mecha-comrades playing kissy-face
or something more X-rated.
I leave it to your imagination.
Now picture those giant gears
replaced by big, bulbous broccoli heads
florets grinding scandalously
into one another's intimate gaps . . .
. . . broccoli gears . . .

Friday, June 26, 2015

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Self-Portrait Goes off the Rails '08


Starring Steven Kell

Some old madness
Intruding into present time frame

Am I Enemy,
Or Detective?

Am I merely another Secret Mastermind squatting in some shadowed corner,
Or just another washed-up Dungeon Master,
Dice all rolled out,
Scattered to dust, further obliterated by B-movie wind machine action?

All we can do is dress sharp
In anticipation of some cinematic showdown or other

Hope we can outdraw the lousy sinister villain
Trailing us through this dumpy dystopia

Words/Photography by William D. Tucker
-May 2015