PEOPLE GET MAD . . . (#20)

. . . at the problematic original, and then they get mad at the sanitized remake.

People get mad.

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #100:

TANJIRO KAMADO AND CHAINSAW MAN RUMORED TO BE IN TALKS TO STAR IN REBOOT OF THE ODD COUPLE.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #18:

In a world of piddly dribbling shits I’m the absolute toilet breaker.

SOLAR TAKE #2:

I was never impressed by the Psychic Friends Network. I called ‘em up, asked ‘em to make my asshole boss’s head explode, and they were like, "Sorry, sir, we don’t do that sort of thing." Lame.

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #99:

REALITY TV COUPLE FILES FOR DIVORCE; CHRIST RETURNS, SHITS BRICK, DECLARES APOCALYPSE.

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 5

 

HUMPDAY THINGS I LIKE #33:

I like it when a Day of Hump plays out just like the final episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

It’s usually about the same level of fun as being abducted by aliens.

PEOPLE GET MAD . . . (#19)

. . . at being lectured, and then they get mad when no one wants to hear their lecture.

People get mad.

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #98:

DEEP FAKE HOLOGRAM LESLIE NIELSEN SLATED TO HOST UNSOLVED MYSTERIES REBOOT WITH NOTHING BUT A TRENCHCOAT AND A WHOOPEE CUSHION.

THE NEW OBVIOUS #4:

If you self-publish comics or comix you have the potential to be viewed as some kind of creative genius.

If you self-publish prose and/or poetry you have the potential to not be viewed . . . at all. 

The lesson?

People like them pictures real good, don’t they?

Yup.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #17:

I’m so hospitable, hotels check into me!

PARTIAL WIPE.

 

THE NEW DREAM #26:

At some kind of gallery night

In some kind of gallery

I’m talking to Edmund the Bastard

The guy from King Lear

I tell him how much I loved his line about shadows standing up for bastards

He says, “I didn’t call upon shadows. I called upon the gods. You’ve got me confused with that Macbeth fella. He called upon shadows. And we all know how well it worked out for him.”

I stand corrected

But then it hits me

Edmund seems to be aware of Macbeth’s bad end but not his own

So I take that as my cue

To try to get him to buy into a timeshare hustle

And that’s when I realized

That I wasn’t even myself

In the new dream

But I had taken on the role of that one dude from years back who used to host that poetry open mic

And then I stopped going to that poetry open mic

But then I later heard that the host guy used to use the open mic to cultivate marks for a timeshare scam

The host guy was never about the poetry

Yet his life was a True American Epic

Poetry

Cloaking

A money grubbing scam

Edmund seems intrigued

My pitch is strong

But I don’t remember if I sealed the deal

Things trailed off

Or I woke up

I’m not entirely sure

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #97:

STURM UND DRANG SET TO REPLACE JOE AND JANE SIXPACK IN OFF-BROADWAY REVIVAL OF LOVE LETTERS.

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 4