THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #50:

I’m so tachyon that forward causation starts to nostalgically rhapsodize its past relevance.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #49:

I’m so shoe leather you don’t even care if I ever get to the point.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #48:

I’m so sprinkles that ice cream doesn’t even bother to show up.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #47:

I’m so amoral that the popular sense of moral causality in the affairs of humanity has gone looking for a new set of axioms.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #46:

I’m so knocking that door bells envy me my overall sense of impact.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #45:

I’m so streets sheets hide under the bed.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #44:

I’m so kitchen table issues that grandiose idealism pulls up a chair.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #43:

I’m so in-person that telepresence has started to question its whole reason for being.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #42:

I’m so shallow that the Super Bowl just watches me for the ads.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #41:

I’m so gullible Reality TV believes I’m totally off-the-cuff spontaneous.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #40:

I’m so deep in the depths of ennui that interests and hobbies declared bankruptcy.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #39:

I’m so exuberant caution resigned from the board to “spend more time with family.” Sure, dude.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #38:

Most men dream of conquest. Conquest dreams of me. I dream of a byzantine system of subterranean tunnels that gives me exclusive 24/7 access to all restaurant kitchens to allow me to prepare my own meals whenever I desire.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #37:

I’m so phantom opera dropped a chandelier on me!

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #36:

I’m so home that a sense of endlessly wandering adventure begrudgingly admits that I have some very valid points in favor of my point of view.