YOUR DRAWING PROMPT #57:

A final game disc consisting entirely of a twenty-five hour boss rush.

THINGS NEVER SAID #36:

“By Jingo, I’m telling you that there’s tightness in them thar hills!”

F.A.Q. #12:

Q: What’s the most dangerous YouTube rabbit hole you’ve fallen down?

A: The “X vs Quad City DJs” rabbit hole. You know, most rabbit holes are warmed over conspiracy hokum from The X-Files craze of the 1990s. I was so over that crap New Year’s Day 2000. But when I found out that people were bluntly combining famous songs from the pop charts and anime openings with Quad City DJs? That was basically my Cocaine Bliss Party. I could not get off that train for the better part of a three day weekend. I eventually hit my limit when I found a video that mashed up Quad City DJs with “Come Sweet Death” from The End of Evangelion. I had found my White Whale. I could, at last, go to bed. Come the morning, I was burned-out to ashes, but over the following week I arose like the phoenix. I wouldn’t say I have any regrets, but I don’t need to put myself through that particular ordeal again any time soon.

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #152:

PUTIN SPOKESMAN TRUMP BURNS DOWN US ECONOMY TO SATISFY THE GNAWING EMPTINESS WITHIN HIMSELF.

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 53

 

PEOPLE COMPLAIN . . . (#1)

. . . when you explain nothing, when you insist on mystery or ambiguity; and then they complain when you spell it all out, perhaps even accusing you of being didactic.

People complain.

LOADING SCREEN WISDOM #36:

IF YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY AFFORDING ITEMS IN SHOPS TRY OPENING A SHOP YOURSELF. BE SURE TO CHARGE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE FOR THE ITEMS YOU SELL. CONSIDER A RIGIDLY ENFORCED ‘NO REFUNDS’ POLICY.

BURNING QUESTIONS IN A UNIVERSE OF MYSTERY #85:

Wait a minute, hold the phone, everybody stop . . . do you mean to tell me . . . that the girl with the guitar in the DoorDash commercial still hasn’t become a globally famous singer/songwriter-that, in fact, she is still working for DoorDash?

Is that even possible?

Because the commercial led me to believe that with all that extra time on her hands she would surely be able to master her music, book those gigs, get ink on those contracts, and rocket off into the heights of legend as the latest and the greatest Indie sensation-or was I reading too much into the ad?

Maybe I was over-invested in the vision?

That would fit.

It would definitely explain all these instances of late of me walking full-on off cliffs and into gorges and blundering into barbed wire fences and electrified cattle enclosures-

-because I’m locked into those clouds above, addicted to the dream, a hopeless case . . .

THE NEW SANTA

YOUR DRAWING PROMPT #56:

Salad bar semiotics of the mid-1990s.

F.A.Q. #11:

Q: What’s your favorite fantasy weapon?

A: The Glaive from Krull. You could just pitch that thing and decapitate 10,000 soldiers all in a row. That works for me.

DUDE . . .

 . . . have you ever seen a more 1990s book than this?

I think not.

THE NEW SIGNAGE #10:

WELCOME TO POST-GOVERNMENT, WHERE THE COMPANY SHALL KEEP YOU COMPANY!

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #151:

WELCOME TO THE DELUXE DAY OF HEADLINES . . . A NEW TREND IS GAINING STEAM IN THE WORLD OF SIDE HUSTLE INCOME AS MORE AND MORE PEOPLE REPORT SELLING US WAR PLANS TO HOUTHI FIELD COMMANDERS. ALL YOU NEED TO GET IN ON THE ACTION IS A SIGNAL ACCOUNT. INTELLIGENCE ANALYSTS SAY THIS IS A DEFINITE PARADIGM SHART IN THE NORMS OF OPSEC THAT SUGGESTS IRREDEEMABLE CORRUPTION AND INCOMPETENCE ON THE PART OF THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE, BUT GET THAT MONEY . . . A NEW STUDY STRONGLY INDICATES THAT FEELINGS OF IMPENDING DOOM REGARDING THE COLLAPSING TRUMP ECONOMY CAN BE ALLEVIATED BY TUBS OF ICE CREAM, BAGS OF ROAST BEEF’N’CHEDDAR SANDWICHES, AND VAST QUANTITIES OF INHALED MARIJUANA SMOKE. GRAIN ALCOHOL IS NOT AS EFFECTIVE, BUT MAY OFFER SUPPLEMENTARY RELIEF . . . IN RELATED NEWS MORE AND MORE AMERICANS ARE REPORTING A STRANGE BEHAVIORAL QUIRK WHERE THEY CAN’T HELP BUT REFER TO THEIR HOMELAND AS THE UNITED STATES OF TOAST AS OPPOSED TO THE UNITED STATES OF TOAST . . .

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 52