NOTIONAL HEADLINE #173:

NEW TRUMP TARIFF POLICY ANNOUNCEMENT CONSISTS OF HIM FANNING HIS LIPS WITH HIS FINGER TO MAKE GIBBERISH NOISES. TOP ECONOMISTS SAY THIS IS A MARKED IMPROVEMENT UPON PREVIOUS FAILURES BY TRUMP TO STRIKE NEW TRADE DEALS EVEN IF IT IS SHORT ON ACTIONABLE SPECIFICS. HOWEVER, SOME HEALTH EXPERTS HAVE EXPRESSED CONCERNS OVER WHETHER OR NOT THE PRESIDENT WAS USING A RON DESANTIS STYLE “FUDGE FINGER” DURING THE ANNOUNCEMENT . . .