THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #54:

In a world of tiny homes I'm a cosmological ultra-structure that broke ground deep within your innermost dream life, which is projected to encompass the entirety of the multiverse of multiverses, and has an estimated completion date of Infinity Times 69.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #53:

I’m so later alligator’s like, “Were you ever really here in the first place?” And I’m like, “Boo-hoo, diaper baby, a crocodile would handle their emotional shit.” Zing!

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #52:

I’m so Alpha Omega’s like, “Beginner’s luck.” And I’m like, “Jealous much, Big O?” Hi-ooooo!

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #51:

I’m so delivery pick-up’s like, "Return to sender.” Ouch!

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #50:

I’m so tachyon that forward causation starts to nostalgically rhapsodize its past relevance.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #49:

I’m so shoe leather you don’t even care if I ever get to the point.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #48:

I’m so sprinkles that ice cream doesn’t even bother to show up.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #47:

I’m so amoral that the popular sense of moral causality in the affairs of humanity has gone looking for a new set of axioms.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #46:

I’m so knocking that door bells envy me my overall sense of impact.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #45:

I’m so streets sheets hide under the bed.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #44:

I’m so kitchen table issues that grandiose idealism pulls up a chair.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #43:

I’m so in-person that telepresence has started to question its whole reason for being.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #42:

I’m so shallow that the Super Bowl just watches me for the ads.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #41:

I’m so gullible Reality TV believes I’m totally off-the-cuff spontaneous.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #40:

I’m so deep in the depths of ennui that interests and hobbies declared bankruptcy.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #39:

I’m so exuberant caution resigned from the board to “spend more time with family.” Sure, dude.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #38:

Most men dream of conquest. Conquest dreams of me. I dream of a byzantine system of subterranean tunnels that gives me exclusive 24/7 access to all restaurant kitchens to allow me to prepare my own meals whenever I desire.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #37:

I’m so phantom opera dropped a chandelier on me!

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #36:

I’m so home that a sense of endlessly wandering adventure begrudgingly admits that I have some very valid points in favor of my point of view.

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #35:

In a world of fraught trade negotiations I’m so convincing’n’reassuring that friction packs it in, wills itself into non-existence . . . now everything’s crashing into everything, slipping off each other, careening all about, no lasting connections, nothing but evaporating consequences, absolute slip’n’slide paradigm for the duration, all clothes’n’costumes’n’props’n’tools escaping every body’n’every grasp with no end in sight, we are all who we are without all the stuff but with absolute restlessly zooming mobility . . . alas?

THE NEW PARADIGMS IN BRAGGING RIGHTS #34:

I’m so door bell knocking gave up and went home.

LOADING SCREEN WISDOM #54:

BEWARE BELLIGERENT BOASTS.