. . .BALLISTIC POLYPS . . .
This is one of the most sought after special attacks in Original Recipe ReDumption Earth.
Basically, this devastating maneuver broke the game in the original release, and was replaced by the Host Displacement Party Combo, which was considered a low point of ReDumption Earth: DX: Death Xtra Edition.
The Host Displacement Party Combo involved spending time as the writing staff for a late night talk show host. You've got to mine monologue materials from the depths of a snorted Adderall mania tunnel; you gotta grind out an appropriately dense number of topical jokes and one-liners to keep pace with the spiraling coruption of an increasingly idiotic and authoritarian political fuckedscape; add in just a dash of self-awareness to lampshade the host's preening narcissism; make sure the diction is friendly to the alcoholic slurring people have been noticing of late; weave in some plugs'n'panders for the network's various garbage fire sitcoms, cop shows, and talent contests that just go on and on and on season after season; and, most importantly, contain your bile at being forever below the line while the hack-master catches all the glory-
If you can do all of that, and not get fired for a five year stretch then you unlock the Host Displacement Party Combo, which allows you-via teleportation-to switch places with the host during filming hours in order to unleash a devastating salvo of burns'n'roasts upon your Enemy.
Now, these attacks don't do damage, per se, and it's not actually possible to attain victory over Enemy with this special attack. However, certain Enemies have unusually high Media Consumption stats, and so the shock of recognition of being mildly razzed by someone from TV that they've watched clips of on YouTube causes them to rank down in various obscure effectiveness metrics. The rumor has long been that these systems are actually non-functional in the official release, but the surrealistic spaghetti code revealed by hacking tools has neither confirmed nor debunked anything for certain.
The only thing that can be said for certain is that the Host Displacement Party Combo is a very poor substitute for the beloved, if game-breaking, Ballistic Polyps of Original Recipe ReDumption Earth.
And it wasn't a cakewalk to unlock Ballistic Polyps.
Oh, no, friend.
In fact, you had to walk the Ripped'N'Torn Doom Colon Path. Not a cake in sight anywhere along this desolate stretch.
First of all, you had to get your Cussed, Ornery, and Irascibility stats maxed out. Secondly, you had to willfully skip doctor appointments and annual check-ups. Thirdly, amp up your intake of jet fuel analogue grain alcohol, raw red meat, and bitterness over relationships gone bad. The bitterness is difficult to track precisely, but a good rule of thumb is that anytime a dialogue choice involves saying, "She fucked me," or "That asshole fucked me over good" or "This whole world is run by assholes that fuck you nonstop" you're on the right path. Fourthly, you had to adamantly refuse every single colonoscopy opportunity. If you get even one buttscope then all of your other efforts are for nothing. You may as well start eating right, swear off the sauce, and embrace forgiveness of all the people that done you wrong 'cause everybody's got their reasons in this life.
But if you remain true to the Ripped'N'Torn Doom Colon Path, then you will eventually be offered the Ripped'N'Torn Sheriff of Spite questline, where you must bring Law and Order and Shotgun Headshots to the mean old Texas town of Spite, wherein you must blast and buffalo your way through a tangled tale of Mexican cartels and gringo gunrunners and ex-CIA hitters gone bank robbin' and the one seniorita who stole your heart once upon a sultry August moon and if you survive all of that . . . a strange sensation shall be abornin' inside your asshole . . . something's just gotta cut loose, pardner!
The elaborate Kingsglaive level cutscene that ensues basically involves a counterattack by the leftovers of the ex-CIA bank robbing gang, a bunch of gunsels looking to get deep into the payback. But you're so done with this town of Spite. You just drop your pants and shotgun those reprobates with a load of self-sharpening polyp shrapnel. Maybe one of the gnarliest depictions of grotesque full body obliterations since the original Parasite Eve.
The Ballistic Polyps are yours, pardner!
Now you can start walking that cake forever!
