Directed by Vincenzo Natali
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FUN FACT: The actor Ice Cube does not appear in the 1997 film Cube.
-William D. Tucker.
. . .
Review by William D. Tucker.
You wake up inside a cube. You don't know how you got there. There's doors in each wall, the floor, and the ceiling. The doors-hatches, really-lead to other cubes with doors that lead to other cubes with doors that lead to other cubes with-
Eventually, you discover that some cubes are booby-trapped, some are safe. The booby traps are invariably lethal. Eventually, you discover there are other people here in the cubes with you. These other people also woke up here with no idea how or why or if there are any whys or hows to it. Maybe it was just Cube Time. Now is the time for everyone to wake up inside cubes. #CubeTime4Lyfe
You and the other people in the cubes decide that it is not right for you to be inside the cubes, so you figure out ways to protect yourself from the booby-traps, and you traverse the path of cubes-a maze, really-hoping to find your way back to the outside world. You don't know how you got here, but you do remember your life before getting all cubed-up. There's no water or food, so you've got to pay attention, and work with some haste. It's possible that there's no way out, and that you have been royally and completely fucked out of existence. But your will to survive drives you to try to escape.
That's what the movie Cube's about, more or less. It's a set of situations and a set of responses to those situations. You watch and ask yourself what you would do if you got cubed-up. Or you pick apart the logic, the plausibility, the plot holes. Math becomes important in this movie, so you might get off checking the filmmakers' homework, so to speak. I listened to a podgrift wherein a group of insufferable grad students nitpicked the film to death and I thought,"You know what? I'd probably prefer getting cubed-up to hanging out with a bunch of academics. Of course, I might end up in the cubes with the unbearable privileged jack-offs. Shit. You just can't win. You really can't."
Look, I get it. The situations presented in the film Cube are thoroughly impossible on many levels. The same could be said of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Marvel Movies, DC Movies, Godzilla, John Wick, The Fast and the Furious, The Matrix, Twilight, Resident Evil, Jurassic World, Top Gun: Maverick, Star Trek-Cube is no more or less realistic and/or plausible. But all these fanciful movies are about exploring possibilities:
What if you could travel in space at faster than light? What if a corporation used viruses to create undead monsters for military use? What if you had both telekinesis and a laser sword? What if your mind was deluded by a sinister computer system? What if hobbits existed? What if a magic ring could save the world? What if snapping your fingers could alter reality? What if the air force of a major nation allowed a sixty-year old to fly a fighter jet into battle? What if you could fight and shoot and run and kill and get stabbed and shot and brutally beaten for hours and hours without using PCP and without losing consciousness or dying? What if you could save the universe by firing lasers and spitting catchy one-liners?
I guess I think the questions Cube raises are both more interesting and more relateable:
Is there any escape from the cubes? How do you know the other people you meet in the cubes are who they say they are? Could any or all of these other people be collaborators with who or what engineered this bizarre situation? Is this an engineered situation? Is this punishment from God or Satan or L. Ron Hubbard? Is this a reward from God or Satan or L. Ron Hubbard? Is this ordeal some kind of severe form of recruitment? If we survive the cubes will we be rewarded with a cash prize or merely an internship? Will there be a snack waiting for anyone who finds a way out of the cubes? Are we in a construct of the material world, or is this a spooky supernatural and/or metaphysical situation? Are ancient aliens involved? What of young aliens-do they have the attention span to construct such a bizarre and ambitious project? At what age is the brain of a bug-eyed gray considered fully developed?
Cube seems to lean more towards materialist explanations for what it's worth.
I have decided not to list the actors or the names of the characters they play on the off chance that you, Dear Reader, have not seen Cube, or if you saw it a long time ago and maybe you don't remember all the details. I was lucky enough to watch it without a single spoiler years ago, and I consider myself blessed. Cube, 1997, and the name of the director are all the coordinates you need.
It's not that it's a perfect film. Cube is basically a pricy, state-subsidized student film from Canada, so all you libertarians and Ayn Rand readers can foam and fume about that shit. The actors are hammy, but effective. The dialogue isn't David Mamet, but it's good enough. The set designs are low-budj, but cleverly contrived. You'll remember at least one of the booby-traps, I think. Music's fine. Overall, it's on the level of an episode of The Outer Limits, I would say, which is good enough for me. The group dynamics of the cubists-my pet name for those trapped in the cubes-are sharply observed. Much like the art movement, they're working to attain new and effective perspectives on the bizarre and trying subject matter that surrounds them, that constitutes their oh-so-deadly cosmos.
Could it be that the cubes are all part of one really big . . . block of cheese?!
