THINGS NEVER SAID #21:

“Say, friend-you think I could hit you up for a handful of crumpled corporate charters? I’m looking to re-do the wallpaper of my Interior Chamber of Emotional Desolation. I’m trying to achieve my vibe goals for the month as you might have guessed.”

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 26

 

THE NEW DREAM #31:

armor all around

efficiencies spiking

output compounding itself

there won’t be much of me left

even if I achieve total output

I’ll be someone else

something else

good or bad

no way to know

but once you’ve been melting down malicious armored assets

for hours days weeks

you really want to go back to puttin’ up with shit at the bar at the worksite inside the sham marriage

put all nonessentials

into junk memory

press the button marked vaporize

or system equivalent as may be your local case

you have this dream

now

don’t be misled

by rear facing instrumentation

let it help you

sure

but it’s not in charge

I’m someone else

now

I have this dream

now

YOUR DRAWING PROMPT #34:

The free market small government think tank ideologue who gets the choicest contracts from his cronies in the federal machine.

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #120:

ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND THERAPY RECOMMENDED TO TREAT EXPLOSIVELY DEPRESSED ELECTRIC POWERED ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT VEHICLES.

THE NEW OBVIOUS #10:

If Donald Trump is speaking-in public, in private, in a dream-he’s lying. That’s all he has, that’s all he is, that’s all he ever was: lies manifesting through a mouth.

THEME MUSIC FOR EVERYTHING #19:

Theme of Random Battle with Low Level Enemies: 3-2-1 Contact Season Two Opening Theme (Extended Version) by Tom Anthony (extended by YouTuber Kevin L.)

High energy educational disco keeps you pumped during the Extended Repetitious Slaughter Phase at the idealistic beginning of your heroic JRPG career.

THINGS NEVER SAID #20:

“I’m covered head-to-toe in that Nacho Cheese Scripture!”

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 25

 

MANDATORY RULE #10:

Whenever and wherever possible potato chips and tortilla chips must be subject to a one-to-one substitution with juicy cheeseburgers. 

Bonus points for implementing this rule in situations of utmost impossibility.

YOUR DRAWING PROMPT #33:

The anarchist who curiously refuses to smash the state which funds his adjunct professorship which pays for his middle class lifestyle.

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #119:

IN A SEARCHING NEW PHILOSOPHICAL TREATISE, BILL CLINTON CONTINUES TO WRESTLE WITH THE DEFINITION OF “IS.”

THE NEW OBVIOUS #9:

You don’t need to watch the movie or the TV show.

You can just imagine your own movie or TV show inside your brain.

You don’t need to buy that overpriced video game.

You can just imagine your own heroic journey inside your brain.

You don’t need religion.

You can just create your own god . . . or, you know, imagine yourself as a deity . . . inside your own brain.

You get what I’m saying.

But people don’t have any confidence in the powers of their own brains, do they?

But if they did have that confidence . . . they could save some money.

THEME MUSIC FOR EVERYTHING #18:

Theme of Historical Accuracy: Giant Enemy Crab by Kitsune2

Plays whenever you have things that really happened.

THINGS NEVER SAID #19:

“Welcome to the God Level of Blogging.”

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 24

 

FAILED CAMPFIRE SIMULATIONS OF THE CRAP ERA OF GAMING

 

YOUR DRAWING PROMPT #32:

Peak flower arranger on the edge of a nervous repair job.

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #118:

ENTERTAINMENT SCOOP: “I JUST GOT CREEPED OUT BY THOSE SEGMENTS WHERE HE HASSLES KIDS.” IN OUR WIDE RANGING INTERVIEW EXCLUSIVE, MARIJUANA EXPLAINS WHY IT NOW REFUSES TO BE SMOKED BY BILL MAHER.

LOADING SCREEN WISDOM #29:

ONLINE SPORTS GAMBLING IS A SUREFIRE WAY TO INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND LOSING MONEY USING THE INTERNET TO GAMBLE ON SPORTS.