There’s a park you can visit, get your steps in . . . but I’m going to the abandoned warehouse where all the final shootouts take place.
Oh, I used to go to that park all the time, it’s a lovely place.
But one day, just as I was finishing getting my steps in, I got a notification from my step tracker app that I had completed getting my steps, and it was time to advance to the apocalyptic conclusion.
You see, for the longest time you would just get your steps in . . . and get your steps in . . . and get your steps in . . . until you’re too old and frail to move anymore.
For multiple generations people just stepped their lives away!
And people aren’t stupid.
People caught on how tedious, how Sisyphean, how endless, how Waiting For Godot the whole gettin’ steps in deal actually is, and so people gave it up on a massive scale.
People’s health declined. Rates of mental illness increased. Folks got miserable. Lifespans dwindled.
But then one day, fitness authorities decided to jazz up getting steps in by adding a dramatic apocalyptic ending . . . but you gotta earn it, friend!
Which is what you’re doin’ goin’ to that park.
So keep it up.
One day you too will follow me into that abandoned warehouse of glory!
‘Til then . . .
