SOLO GAMING #3: WDT2099 HEART JUDGE MODULE

 by William D. Tucker

This product is designed for use with Advanced X-Path Tantalization. Any and all other uses are not authorized.

You are diligently following the precepts laid out in Advanced X-Path Tantalization when a thought occurs to you, "What if I were to deviate from the precepts laid out in Advanced X-Path Tantalization?"

This is the question.

Here is the answer: nothing or everything or just a little bit or even a lotta bit or whatever else you may conceive. Advanced X-Path Tantalization may be used however you desire. No God above to blast you with thunderbolts or spray thee with lava(not the soap). No Devil below to poke your hemorrhoids with a pitchfork. No one is looking over your shoulder. I am not looking over your shoulder . . . but if I was, you would only know me as a random sensation of prickling upon your back, or a fleeting-yet overwhelming-presence that you might convince yourself you could catch out if you but turn around fast enough-but no. You are never fast enough. And now your room is unusually cold, but this, too, gradually resolves itself, nothing that will stick in your memory, so no worries. No one is observing you. Honest.

And this is good, right? To be free of surveillance and harsh judgment and asinine rules and, yes, even the very precepts of Advanced X-Path Tantalization-why not cast it off, as well, just another bullshit system, right?

Well . . . you may be one that agrees with all of this.

Or . . . you may feel dizziness at the prospect of such freedom. A certain nausea. Or outright paralysis by rising terror. All sense of direction and purpose and meaning and right and wrong-there it goes! Swirling away down the toilet of Too Much Choice and Too Many Options! 

Bye-bye-bye . . .

Well, I offer you a solution. I offer you the WDT2099 HEART JUDGE MODULE, which is an entity born of myself that you may incorporate into your very being if you're in need of a Master, a Supervisor, a Boss to keep you in line with the precepts of Advanced X-Path Tantalization. The WDT2099 HEART JUDGE MODULE is a faith-based technology that uses your own being to discipline you whenever you stray from the precepts. 

Here's how it works.

Behold this image-

IMAGE REDACTED

-now focus your willpower to accept it into your deepest heart. Let it situate. Now feel it settling itself into your heart. You may experience some discomfort as it shifts its ass around, getting comfy, and this process of ass-shifting shapes your heart into a kind of throne perfectly suited to the shape of its ever-shifting ass. Now you will experience bizarre tingling and stinging sensations as it launches ass tentacles deep into your innermost being all the better to anchor itself. Many users report intense feelings of abject terror and some even attempt to tear out their own hearts in wretched attempts to extract it usually resulting in serious injury or death, but the survivors also usually end up with memorable anecdotes for sharing in-person or via social media. Other users report no problems whatsoever, but this outcome may also be accompanied by a gnawing emptiness due to the lack of memorable anecdote formation. In any event, if you survive, the instalation process of WDT2099 HEART JUDGE MODULE is complete-A.F.

What this means is this: a fearsome judge now sits inside your heart to steer you back on the road when ye begin to drift from the precepts of ADVANCED X-PATH TANTALIZATION. A judge that does what God and the Devil cannot do. A vengeful God fries you with lightning, afflicts you with plague, glazes you with lava, or demands that you attend His solo theatrical spoken word monologue play. An angry God destroys you with an ostentatious display of destructive power that exposes His own brittle ego for all to see-like, why that much output of force for just one disobedient human?-or He numbs you into zombiehood with His pretentious bloviations that are all doomed to be mistranslated, misinterpreted, and repackaged as overpriced hardback volumes for sale at your local chain bookstore. The Devil offers the false freedom of lancing your piles with a sure, swift thrust of his pitchfork-but what kind of liberation is that, hm? The narrowing of the way offered a kind of rigourous 'dump ethic,' that required one to sit with agony and all the ruminations and meditations that pain inspires-and, now, post-pile-lancing, you've nothing but the free and easy flow of 'nihilistic dumps,' totally devoid of all effort, all struggle-be not led into temptation, Dear Solo Gamer! 

WDT2099 HEART JUDGE MODULE provides a truly sublime service. You see, any time you are tempted to deviate from the precepts of ADVANCED X-PATH TANTALIZATION the judge that now sits inside your heart really starts throwing its ass around-like, just ridiculous amounts of ass-shifting which, at first, you'll be able to ignore. It's just someone trying to get comfortable, right? Whoopteefuckingdoo. Ah, but this is the real magic. For as long as you keep deviating or contemplating deviation from the precepts of ADVANCED X-PATH TANTALIZATION, that ass-shifting simply will not stop. And you're not gonna be able to ignore it forever, Solo Gamer! You're eventually gonna be pretty pissed off with this passive aggressive shit-the judge'll also start sighing loudly and elaborately like it's bored and just wants to leave-and this is usually when you yell, "STOP SHIFTING YOUR FUCKING ASS ALL AROUND INSIDE MY HEART THRONE! I'M TRYING TO DEVIATE FROM THE GODDAMN PRECEPTS OF ADVANCED X-PATH TANTALIZATION AND I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOUR PASSIVE AGGRESIVE BULLSHIT! SIT STILL! SHUT UP! AND JUST LET ME GET ON WITH DEVIATING FROM ADVANCED X-PATH TANTALIZATION! JESUS CHRIST!"

This, of course, is but the prelude. 

As the minutes and hours pass you by, the ass-shifting kicks into a higher gear: full on ass-throwing. The judge is really rocking and rolling that heart throne all over your chest cavity, my friend, and it will drive you to distraction. Not to mention the judge will start saying things like, "Breaking the rules is so booooooooring! Everyone in a corrupt world breaks the rules just to fit in. Why not have some fun and actually obey the precepts of ADVANCED X-PATH TANTALIZATION, hmmmm?! You're just a fake rebel with all your disobedience, doncha know?! Why not be a for real rebel and submit to the system, hrmmm?! Why you gotta be such a fake asshole, eh, why you gotta be such a fake asshole forever, hrrrmmph?!"

Now, I'm not gonna lie to you, Solo Gamer.

Not many survive this escalation of annoyance. 

Many resort to simply ripping out their own hearts, and thereby finding peace.

A proud few have been known to will themselves into spontaneously combusting.

I say, "Don't be a hero."

Once you decide to submit to obey the precepts of ADVANCED X-PATH TANTALIZATION . . . well, it all gets a lot calmer. A lot smoother. The ass-shifting becomes a kind of metronome regulating your play, observing now the letter and then the spirit of the law. One cheek is the letter, the other the spirit if you like. The shifting is the dance between the cheeks one could say.

The judge never leaves you. It guides you on a path of NEVERENDING X-PATH TANTALIZATION . . . what fun!

POSTSCRIPT: WDT2099 HEART JUDGE MODULE WAS DISCONTINUED IN THE YEAR 20XX FOR BEING TOO MAGNIFICENT FOR THIS WRETCHED WORLD. TOO MANY SOLO GAMERS REPORTED TOO MUCH EXCELLENCE AT SUCH LEVELS OF SEARING INTENSITY THAT THEY SIMPLY BURNED FREE OF THE DAY-IN-DAY-OUT TO DWELL FOREVER IN THE REALM BEYOND THE X-PATH.

SO, THE WDT2099 HEART JUDGE MODULE IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE. YOU'VE NO CHOICE BUT TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES FOR YOUR OWN REASONS. NOW. AND FOREVER.

OF COURSE, YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF FANTASIZING ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE TO HAVE A WDT2099 HEART JUDGE MODULE INSTALLED . . . YOU MAY EVEN FIND YORSELF . . . TANTALIZED BY THIS PROSPECT . . .

IF SO . . . YOU ARE SURELY WALKING . . . THE X-PATH!!!

SOLO GAMING #2: ADVANCED X-PATH TANTALIZATION

 by William D. Tucker

You will need something to write with, and something to write upon, anything will do. Pens. Pencils. Paint. Crayons. Voice dictation. Paper. Canvas. Napkins. Toilet paper. Stone tablets. Whatever works for you. 

You must think of an imaginary setting you would like to roleplay within, either of your own creation or an established world you like from gaming, fiction, myth, TV, cinema, etc. I think it's always more interesting to create your own world, but I leave it up to you.

Now, create a character for you to roleplay within this imaginary world. Once again, you may use a character that already exists, but I recommend you create an original. Think of how your character exists in this world, and how they perceive the world around themselves. What are their likes? Their dislikes? Their abiding loves? Their undying hatreds? Do they live inside their heads? Do they have a strong connection to the land? Are they a robot? Do they know their creator? Do they live as an outsider? An insider? Are they the ruler of this world?

On the basis of your world and your character write a scene in first person perspective that ends with them having a choice of what to do. Even if you already know what you want your character to do you must write down at least one other option. And then you decide which way your character goes. Remember, even if you already know, you must at least consider one (or more) other option(s) and write them all down. Once you've made your decision, you write down the next scene which must also conclude with at least two choices for your character to make.

Once you’ve written down your third scene, you must now write an X-Path Scene before you make a decision about the fourth scene. This X-Path Scene must be in a completely different spirit than your character up until now. If your character is violent, they must be peaceful. If peaceful, then violent. If they are contemplative, now they are brash; or if brash, now contemplative. If they happen to be a cyborg, then their X-Path version could be a plant person, or vice versa. If flying, now burrowing. If burrowing, now flying. Once you have written this X-Path Scene, you may now return to your third scene, make a choice, and proceed to the fourth scene. However, your character must incorporate some awareness of this other self from the X-Path Scene, perhaps as cognitive dissonance, or as someone they hear about on the radio, or even as someone they meet in real life. It isn't so much that your mainline character changes into this other X-Path Scene person, so much as there is bleed from this other realm of possibility. Even if you are to encounter this other character along the mainline path, you must maintain a state of tantalization as opposed to certainty about who or what this other is in relation to yourself. 

You must create an X-Path Scene for every three mainline path scenes you write, incorporating more elements from the X-Path Scene as you go along. Do this until you are no longer having fun. Or, if you prefer, you may flog yourself with this process well past the reasonable as a kind of Protestant Work Ethic torture regimen disguised as something enjoyable.

If you find your way to a satisfying conclusion for your character, then you may stop. Or, alternatively, you may proceed as follows:

Once you have concluded your character's story, return to the first scene, read it over carefully, and now write a New First Scene that views your character from the perspective of an omnipresent surveillance system that is tracking your character for some reason or set of reasons. This could be an undercover police operation. A repressive secret police scenario may be appropriate, including the assessment of various social credit rankings and privileges. Perhaps, your character is being tracked for marketing purposes, the better to sell them-or people like them-products and services. You could just be a stalker creep. Or this could be a scary slasher and/or giallo scenario. If you're super-ambitious you could attempt to combine all of these possibilities-and more-into one Ultra-Stalker Scenario in which the state, the "Free" Market, idiosyncratic psychopathic obsessions, and a burning need to punish the character for real and/or imagined sins combine into one very complicated situation. You could do this, or opt for a more streamlined rationale for surveiling your player character. In any case, you must write up a detailed surveillance chronicle in the voice and style of whatever you choose-secret police, creep, slasher, Satan, marketing robot, recruiter for a cabal of masked heroes who combine into a larger masked and/or unmasked hero, etc. 

Once you have written your surveillance report, you have some decisions to make. First, if the character died as a result of their adventures you must determine if this is acceptable and/or permanent. If death is irreversible, then you must write a conclusion as to why this perma-death is or is not acceptable. If death is reversible, then you must write a compelling argument either in favor of leaving them in the grave or bringing them back to life. 

If it is possible to bring the character back to life, you may write a scene in which this happens, and you are now 'operating' your back-from-the-dead character in either a first person POV of the surveillance master or a third person narrative voice. You get to write a Second Adventure, a kind of New Game+ in which you decide what purpose the surveillance entity/entities wish to impose upon the resurrected character and if the resurrected character goes along with your schemes. If you like, you may roll a six-sided die to determine if the resurrected character cooperates each time you make a choice. A one, two, or three means cooperation; a four, five, or six means disobedience. 

You may also decide that this resurrected character now has the qualities of the X-Path Scenes from the First Adventure. You may write an explanation for this, or allow it to go unexplained. 

If the character did not die during the First Adventure, then you must describe the process by which you approach this person and use your surveillance chronicle to coerce/convince them into working for your operation. Be sure to use your comprehensive knowledge of them to appeal to what you have come to understand as their core values and/or deepest desires. You may also use shame and/or threats. Appeals to patriotism and/or nationalism may also be appropriate. Maybe it's all about money. You may incorporate dice rolls to randomize this process however you see fit, or not at all. Write down the details of their resistance and/or compliance. They may resist you on some demands, and comply with you on others. 

When you arrive at a reasonable and/or unreasonable conclusion for your surveillance/stalking/recruitment project you must do the following:

Consider deeply what you, yourself, have lost and/or gained by surveilling/stalking/recruiting the target character. Write down what you think and feel about all this. And then think about what your life would be like if you had chosen to leave this person alone. Describe in detail what you would do instead, how you would spend your minutes, hours, days, weeeks, months, and years if you were not obliged to pursue/surveil your target. Once you have done all of this, you must do the following:

Gather all of your writings you have done up until now, and read them over. Think about them. And then, make a huge cartoonish explosion sound effect, or you can just imagine it if that's better, or you can write the words 'KABOOM!' or 'KER-FUJA-BLAST!' or whatever suits you-'BLAMMMO!' is also acceptable-and this is meant to simulate global nuclear annihilation. 

If you wrote down everything on paper or notecards go ahead and rip them all to shreds and scatter them about, then start picking up the pieces. Every other piece you must permanently discard. With the pieces you have left, put them inside a hat, mix then up, and then draw them out at random. This randomized succession of fragments becomes the New Order. Make of it what you will. Use it as the world setting for a post-apocalyptic survival combat game, or a new religion, or a magic liturgy that, when recited, returns you to the Real World, whatever that may mean to you. The point is that Things Have Been Lost and, also, Things Are Different Now. You are free to continue on with this New Order, or end the game however you see fit . . . GAME OVER. OR NOT. PLAYER'S CHOICE. 

If you wrote everything down in electronic format then pretend that all your writings are totally obliterated without trace . . . GAME OVER. YOU ARE FREE OF HISTORY. MOVE ON TO OTHER ACTIVITIES. 

If you wrote nothing down, just kept it all in your head, then think thoughts of peace and serenity . . . GAME OVER. YOU ARE FREE OF HISTORY. MOVE ON TO OTHER ACTIVITIES. 

. . . in any case, however it ends-or doesn't end-you will probably be left wondering, "How could it all have played out differently? Where did it all go wrong and/or right?"

This, of course, is the nature of Advanced X-Path Tantalization . . .