BURNING QUESTIONS IN A UNIVERSE OF MYSTERY #91:

How come we never get one of these Jeopardy champions to run for President?

Could be worth a shot . . .

THE NEW SIGNAGE #24:

ERODING FAITH IN HUMAN FUTURE ON PLANET EARTH NEXT 10,000 MILES.

YOUR DRAWING PROMPT #80:

A networking event indistinguishable from a car crash conclave.

FANTASY MASHUP FORCE #19:

A remake of The Irishman where the three leads are played by Easter Island moai statues . . .

THE NEW DREAM #47:

something to do

with

eerie microwave popcorn

that pops itself

but seems super resentful about it

and I’m frustrated

‘cause I’m perfectly willing to put it in the microwave, press the buttons, it’s all good

cut to

bewildering multi-generational strife

it’s fine

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 76

THE NEW OBVIOUS #41:

The main planks of the Trump/Republican/MAGA domestic platform are as follows:

-Throwing vaccines in the trash

-Climate change denial

-Burning down cancer research

-Burning down evidence based education

-Bankrupting farmers with tariffs

-Driving up the costs of housing, healthcare, and food

-Persecuting immigrant workers whose blood, sweat, and tears make the actual economy-not the stock market-run

-Violating 1st Amendment freedoms in order to shut down criticism, satire, and dissent

. . . and all of this seems calculated to create a country full of sick, silent, impoverished people with no access to knowledge and no hope for the future.

But the stock market’s doing great. So there’s that.

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #210:

GHISLAINE MAXWELL TO LAUNCH GOOP-A-LIKE LIFESTYLE BRAND IN ANTICIPATION OF FULL PARDON FROM EPSTEIN BESTIE TRUMP.

THE NEW SIGNAGE #23:

SIGNS FEATURING THE NUMBER 10,000 NEXT 10,000 MILES.

YOUR DRAWING PROMPT #79:

The false dawn of a staff roll fake-out.

FANTASY MASHUP FORCE #18:

Die Hard on the head of a pin sticking out of Hellraiser’s Pinhead . . .

NOTIONAL HEADLINE #209:

IN A HIGHLY NUANCED INTERVIEW, CANCER EXPRESSES CONFLICTING OPINIONS ABOUT THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION. “ON THE ONE HAND, I’M GRATEFUL FOR THE DEMOLITION OF ANTI-CANCER RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT . . . BUT IF PEOPLE CAN’T AFFORD FOOD AND HOUSING THEN THEY’RE NOT LIKELY TO LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO ALLOW ME TO GROW AND FLUORISH . . .”

THE SECRETS OF FINAL TOWN 75

EMERGENCE #5:

. . . sitting across from Libby and Snak, the silly hat at the center of the table, a yellow legal pad directly in front of me.

Moments before: Snak, Libby, and myself each carefully cutting up a sheet from the yellow legal pad.

We’re all looking at each other. And then we’re all reaching into the silly hat at the same time.

Moments before: Snak, Libby, and myself all trying to reach into the silly hat at the same time, and then we all immediately back away-who should go first, right?

We all back away from the silly hat, and not for the first time.

Moments before: a vision of the carefully cut strips of yellow legal pad paper floating up out of the silly hat, twisting and tumbling up through the air. I see a strip with the words CLIMBING DOWN printed in black ink seeming to present itself directly to my eyes.

Of course, I end up reaching into the silly hat first. My slip says SHOPPING EXPEDITION, but it’s not in my block printing style. I’m pretty sure it’s Libby’s spidery quasi-cursive style . . . 

CLIMBING DOWN . . .

Now Snak’s reaching into the silly hat . . .

CLIMBING DOWN . . .

Libby’s reaching into the silly hat . . .

CLIMBING DOWN . . .

All three of us look at our slips, look at each other, and now we’re back to the dilemma of who should go first . . .

F.A.Q. #21:

Q: William, what is best in life?

A: Playing Super Nintendo.