. . . there was a man who chewed on a match out of habit.
In the fullness of time, an actor in a movie thought it would look cool to chew a match as a piece of business in his role as a tough guy.
A moviegoer sees the actor, and decides they would look cool in real life chewing a match.
Which, somehow, explains the adorable pitbull I once saw chewing a match-
Which explains the new reality TV series Dogs Copping Human 'Tudes: Suburban Florida Edition-
Which explains why a mindless trendchasing loser with no discernible personality or dreams or passions such as myself has taken up chewing matches as a compulsive tick-
Which brings us to the glorious future of a match that compulsively chews itself-
Which-
