you're the side story
a shadow
of a shadow warrior
is the title a cruel joke about being abandoned by your ninja dad?
'cause that's what happens in the game
your ninja dad walks out to do dirty deeds not so cheap for some cackling mad robed occultist
ninja dad even goes Full Vader,
dons a mask,
you gotta strike him down in a one-on-one duel,
tearful deathbed redemption speech,
Full Vader
but ninja
well,
daddy's little side story swings a sword real good
adios, pops
and that robed occultist asshole?
I guess he was somebody's corrupt daddy object, too?
yeah,
well,
he died real good, too,
not even his final demon summon gimmick counted for much in the end
robed occultist's crib goes Full Dracula's Castle, crumbling apart, what you get when you go with the lowest bidders
daddy's little side story even hooks up with the hot older CIA agent lady in the final cut scene
heh, heh, heh,
so fuck all the fathers
and for futue reference?
when you walk out the door?
make sure you stay gone
if you enjoy keeping your original head on your neck,
okay?
but, hey
we're all video game avatars around here
gettin' a new head is a zero biggie,
it's fine,
we live,
we die,
we live again,
unless we get super-frustrated with the difficulty level,
in which case
we switch off
return to real life,
meatspace,
the land of the living dead,
the land of the nonheroic,
Middlemarch forever in all directions,
childish things put away,
here comes respectability like a bulldozer,
check out my stain routine,
barely anything left of me,
wholly absorbed into this or that consumer quadrant,
not even a shadow of a shadow,
shadows are too fanciful,
too artsy,
doesn't jibe with the ultracasual Netflix palette/frame/formula,
you must watch
but not watch
ye must distract
from other distractions
ninja dad knows about that
's why you're here
heh, heh, heh-
piercing sound of drawn steel
foley of raw meats sliced
it's a bit much
-January 2021-April 2022
