Kirk and Spock come across the corpse of Jim Morrison.
Spock says, “He’s dead, Jim.”
Jim Morrison sits up, says, “No way! You can’t just kill off the captain of the Enterprise like that! That would be like if Columbo got murdered or if Eliot Ness started taking bribes. You just can’t do your audience over like that, man!”
Kirk plays it cool . . . mostly because he’s thinking about banging that green xtro chick, and not actually paying much attention to his immediate surroundings.
Spock considers all this carefully, says, “Most illogical.”
But, despite Spock’s assessment, Jim Morrison is lying back down, dead-as-can-be, by the end of this little scene, so it might be possible that the universe is actually quite invested in Spock’s take on things. Not that a Vulcan’s supposed to get all emotional about this sort of stuff at any rate.
At this point, Orson Welles shows up and eats the entire planet. No, he’s not in character as Unicron.
We then cut to one of those French cinephilia TV programs where Orson Welles is being interviewed. The big man is putting on a good show as per usual. Welles relates the famous anecdote about how he mistakenly ate an entire planet where Star Trek was being filmed thus digesting the entire cast and crew of the seminal science fiction saga.
“I swear I thought it was one of my cherished gastropubs. But I’d completely misunderstood the signage. It said ‘astropub,’ well. The only upside to this dreadful ordeal-those Trekkies are still after me to this day-is that Jim Morrison was already dead-so they can’t pin that one on me-ha, ha, haaa!”
At this point, another Orson Welles shows up and eats-
