I like it when a great filmmaker has such a long career that they end up accidentally making a movie that’s already been made.
My favorite example comes from Steven Spielberg, who, a few years ago, directed West Side Story . . . a movie that already exists!
Oh, Steven, you darn fool kid . . . I’m guessing you were a victim of your own success. You’ve made so many wonderful movies over the years, and had so much acclaim that no one in your inner circle was willing to whisper in your ear, “Um, sorry Mr. Spielberg, but they already made a West Side Story movie back in 1961. I know how you get so enthusiastic about your movie making and such. But if you go and make this movie then people will probably just assume it’s one of them thar recordings of a live musical they schedule on low traffic days as opposed to a full-on proper movie, and the thing’ll most likely turbo bomb at the box office. Sorry sir, but we should probably make a movie that hasn’t already been made.”
Yeah . . . you just don’t tell Steven Spielberg what to do. I know I wouldn’t.
Ah, cinema!
Ah, humanity!
Moments later, William is robbed at gunpoint by that Bartleby asshole.
Say . . . Spielberg could have made a movie outta that old Herman Melville story . . . not Moby-Dick . . . not Billy Budd . . . the hell was it called . . . The Mysterious Stranger . . . no, that was Mark Twain . . . hell, this is gonna bother me all week!
Man . . . this is definitely one fucked-up Humpday, isn’t it?
Yup.
