“I GOT IT FOR $4.99 PLUS APPLICABLE SALES TAX FROM THE DISCOUNT DVD BIN AT BIG LOTS.” GOD OF BLOGGING WILLIAM D. TUCKER ANNOUNCED HIS PURCHASE OF WARNER-DISCOVERY ON SOCIAL THIS MORNING. DESPITE THE LOW PRICE POINT, TUCKER EXPRESSED THE FOLLOWING REGRETS: “I MEAN, LIKE, IT WAS CHEAP. BUT I COULD’VE JUST TORRENTED THE SHIT FOR FREE. A LOT OF IT I’M NOT EVEN GONNA WATCH, RIGHT? LIKE HARRY POTTER? I’M NOT A CHILD. I DON’T WATCH THAT CRAP. OR THE LATEST PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON PICTURE. I’M SORRY, BUT THE GUY’S SO PRETENTIOUS, SO TEDIOUS, ALL THE FILM PODGRIFTERS ARE FALLING FOR IT, OF COURSE. BASICALLY, I’M JUST INTO THE CAGNEY PICTURES. HAVE YOU SEEN WHITE HEAT? DUDE! THAT ENDING IS SICK-AS-FUCK!” . . . NEW ANALYSIS INDICATES PRESIDENT TRUMP’S HOARSE VOICE THIS PAST WEEK STRONGLY SUGGESTS THAT BUBBA’S STILL KNOCKING THEM VOCAL CORDS LOOSE . . . GOD OF BLOGGING WILLIAM D. TUCKER HAS ANNOUNCED THAT HE’LL BE TRADING WARNER-DISCOVERY TO HIS BUDDY FOR THE LIMITED EDITION DVD BOX SET OF THE SPACE BATTLESHIP YAMATO FEATURE FILMS . . .
