Does Santa Claus celebrate Christmas, or is he like, “Dude, this shit is my fucking job. I’m working. I ain’t celebrating shit!” ?
Or maybe Santa celebrates some bizarre, secret Clausian holiday that maybe only him and the elves and the reindeer and a select group of insiders know about?
Who else is in the know?
Mothman? Chupacabra? The Men in Black? The Mad Gasser of Mattoon? Spring-Heeled Jack? The Jersey Devil? Nessie? The probe-happy Greys? Mulder’n’Scully? A scholarly cartoon owl? That dude that wrote all those books about urban legends in the 1980s and 1990s? That dude who wrote that ‘End of History’ book? What about the other dude who wrote that book about Generation X with all the vocabulary words in the margins? Is the Flatwoods Monster in the know? Was the Flatwoods Monster the one who wrote that Generation X book?
Hey, I’m just one of these Inquiring Minds you hear about.
