Silent Side Story.
This is West Side Story + Silent Hill.
You’ve got two gangs of monsters-the Nurses and the Grey Children-dance battling to see which team gets to ride in the flying saucer piloted by a dog.
Meanwhile, Pyramid Head and Officer Cybil are a mismatched pair of buddy cops looking to enforce the law upon lawless abominations.
Pyramid Head’s got lots of personal shit. He’s depressed that he’s just the manifestation of some random dude’s desire to be punished. He aspires to be so much more! He’s been taking dance lessons. He’s reading the Stoics. Even though he’s known for wielding a sword he’s been hitting the firing range to expand his repertoire to include the M-60 machine gun, the bazooka, and the person-portable railgun assault system. He sees himself as Protagonist Material, like in a Resident Evil or Doom game. He does mime. He does hosting. He does close magic. He’s working on some fucking amazing singer-songwriter shit-just, like, totally conquering the folkie scene in Silent Hill.
Cybil’s got her own Protagonist Dreams working. Although they’re kinda boring, she figures she could brush up her detective skills by starring in a few of those point-and-click mystery games. She just doesn’t want to get stuck in some godforsaken hidden object purgatory-not even once. But options are scarce these days. She’s gotten a lucrative offer to star in some cutscenes for a video pachislot thing, but that’s another purgatory she’s trying to avoid. She also finds Pyramid Head’s barista-esque pretense of saying,”Oh, but I’m really this other thing” to be incredibly tedious. But she’s also kinda in the same place as him. It’s tough.
The Nurses and the Grey Children have to dodge those trifling cops while winning dance battles to improve their techniques.
Lots of multiple endings tied to various abstruse mechanics will surely guarantee repeat box office as audiences fleeing the suffocating heat of Climate Inferno luxuriate in 4-D air conditioning effects.
Fun for the final survivors of the Human Family!
