THE ULTIMATE CHILDREN OF AVARICE AND BETRAYAL
They’re . . . baseball cards?
I’m pretty sure they’re baseball cards.
I’m not actually sure, but . . .
They got photos on the front depicting sludgy, fleshy uniformed, uhhh, like, human-adjacent forms in postures of action, striking curious poses-
Look. It’s AI generated, obviously. That’s how things’re done, now.
Maybe, like, they trained the fake software brains on the nonsensical, authoritarian word salad pseudo-speeches of Donald Trump? Maybe these figures are supposed to be the ultimate children of avarice and betrayal?
Some of them look like they could be indie horror game bosses: aggressive, torturous forms surging forth from shattered American mindscapes. Very Endstage-Circling-the-Drain-of-Capitalism coded.
They’ve got statistics on the back for different unpronounceable, er, words? Like I guess they could be denoting the relevant measurable qualities needed to practice some style of truth-murdering sport, or some contest designed to oppress and digest democracy itself?
Also . . . and I don’t mean to be gross . . . but they’ve got . . . residue . . . Christ!
Yeah, these cards suck.
Zero out of 10.
No good at all.
Not even as a joke gift.
Unless you want to start a regional war or something.
Don’t even recycle ‘em.
Burn ‘em, and fire the ashes into space.
Zero recommend.
