BURNING QUESTIONS IN A UNIVERSE OF MYSTERY #64:

 

Am I the only one who thinks Silent Hill: Ascension would’ve been better received if it had instead been titled Shart Hill: The Suck?

‘Cause titles set up those expectations, right?

And it’s those expectations that get people so fucked off, isn’t it?

If people had known this was a Shart Hill thing as opposed to a Silent Hill thing then, well, folks would have adjusted their expectations accordingly, wouldn’t they?

Sure.

Yeah.

Audible mega-sharting soundtracks this wretched world.

All those years complaining about those pachislot machines . . . we didn’t know how good we had it, did we?

Yup.

All is shart.

The shartblime . . .

 . . . is that experience of the sublime within a shart. An example would be a Florida Man who, rather than clean himself, decides that it is truly fascinating to just sit with and in the moment of shartness, perhaps upon a couch watching NASCAR, or sitting behind a Governor's desk signing laws limiting access to voting rights. Alternatively, it may also be an experience of a shart when faced with the sublime. The sublime, in this case, may be the cause of a shart as one's bodily control is overwhelmed by a profundity of feeling. An example would be a Florida Man who has just eaten all he can at a country buffet and is then struck-like a bolt from the blue-with the realization that Taco Bell is open late. The ensuing shart-primarily an expression of overmastering awe-may also serve the purpose of making a little room for the incoming Fourth Meal. The shartblime is thus considered primarily as a spiritual and aesthetic experience, but it has also come to be considered as a prolific-and productive-trope within the literatures of existential capitalism.