Larry, did you see this, uh, this new version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? It's the same movie, but they used algorithmic deep fake motherfuckery to extend the sequence where the girl is being chased through the woods at night by the chainsaw guy by, like, um-let me just look this up . . . by 294 minutes. So it's just that one sequence-which is a memorable sequence-but, um, y'know the rest of the movie plays out like the original. What's interesting here is that this being a Christmas Time release, audiences are encouraged to pray and/or use psychic powers to influence the outcome of the movie. Like if prayer or ESP or good vibes or whatever make an actual, physical effect upon what's happening on the screen-and I guess the protracted chase scene-the thinking behind that one is, uh,is that the agitation that causes-'cause it's a harrowing sequence even in the original-that that agitation could spark off some kind of, ah, like radical mutational response inside people's brains, unlock psychic powers, boost the prayer signal so God can actually pick it up on Its wavelength-
Yeah, it's very Marvel Comics. Very Weapon X.
But it could go over with the Christians, right? They have their Jesus achieve spooky transcendence by being flayed and tortured and getting speared up in those guts. Maybe this new "Protracted Ordeal Cut" of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre could spark off something inside people.
I tell you, Larry, I watched it, and the movie seemed totally unaffected by either prayer or psionic brainwaves. And, ultimately, it's just a movie. Just a trivial thing, really-shouldn't it be relatively easy to affect with awesome spiritual faith powers or whatever? I could understand the true believers choking when it comes to, uh, macroeconomics or quantum mechanics-that's number shit. Number shit's hard. But movies-movies are like English Major shit. Or film school shit. Trifles, right? But no, uh, no action from either the X-Men types in the audience or the prayerful as far as I could tell.
Maybe the audience wasn't trying hard enough? Maybe you really gotta lean and strain and grunt into it-like maybe that's why God afflicts us with intense constipation-so as to teach us the proper level of asshole tearing effort that's required of the faithful-couldn't that be it?
Big shrug.
