THINGS NEVER SAID #5:

"Some days you just can't bear to part with an armed nuclear device. You've got your arms wrapped tightly around it. How many people will ever find out what you are about to find out, eh? You know it's true! Even now, there's a kind of cold, hard anti-cuddly thing going on that bursts through to being cuddly all over again. But this time you are the haplessly touch hungry pitbull, now you get to be the dog, you get to be the wiggly, can't-get-close-enough perfect one attempting, absurdly, to burrow into your heartless master's impenetrable flank! Go ahead. Make the 'woof-woof' noises. Pee on the floor. Whine for a liver treat. We are post-shame. Everyone's about to be post-sh-"