SNACK ACTUALLY

 

BURNING QUESTIONS IN A UNIVERSE OF MYSTERY #26:

Don't you think a proper Year-In-Review retrospective should actually take two years? Just to be thorough, y'know?

And I'm just referring to the end result: the article, the YouTube essay, etc. The length of time it should take to consume should be right at the two year mark.

Which means the people creating the Year-In-Review will probably need, like, four years to get the raw material down to the two year running time/reading time. For the sake of thoroughness, you see.

Ah, yes, a life of rigorous . . . something-or-other. 

I figure this type of approach might force religious leaders to innovate actual eternal life-as opposed to the pretend shit-so we can have sufficient Year-In-Review time-'cause you can already see the backlog comin' from miles out-woo-Lordy! 

I do not envy those charged with these tasks.

Heh, heh, heh . . .  

Isn't it nice to be completely unqualified for the Really Big Projects?

Ha, ha, ha . . . !

Think I'll go back to sleep . . .

Snores elaborately.

THE NOTIONAL BOOKSHELF

MANY BOOKS. 

ORGANIZED HAPHAZARDLY. 

ANY VOLUME COULD BE A BEGINNING. 

ANY VOLUME COULD BE AN ENDING . . . 

The Sharting Economy: Is It Scalable? by Rivers Duty

Fundamentals of Essential Elements by Smith Johns

Group Sex in the Age of Hyperindividualism by Sol Randy

"I can't start existing!" and Other Pertinent Dilemmas of the Disillusionment Era by Prima Nons

INFERNO AT SPEED: One Man's Journey Through Flamethrower Themed Fight Calls of the American Theatre in the Post-Literacy Age by Bannion Flail

Civilizations in Collision: Cat People, Dog People, and the Risk of Nuclear Annihilation by William D. Tucker of the Shindig Institute

Portable Toilets and the Image of (Post) Modernity: Reflections on a Lifetime of Greasy Bowel Movements at State Fairs by Linder Hole

FINAL DIALECTIC: How the Wendy's Salad Bar Returned from the Dead to Become the Final Boss of the Internet by Sally Fuchs of the Trend Pursuer Institute

"Who even are we anymore?": Whipped Cream Semiotics of Instagram Dog Videos in a Post-9/11 Universe by Petty Scratcherson

The Threat of Uniform Mischief a novel by H.H. Brill

Dancing Forever in the Land of Hooray: One Woman's Journey to Re-Create the K-Mart Snack Bar Inside Her Own Apartment by Isabella Dairy

Signs of Wife: One Man's Daring Quest to Remember Why He Ever Wanted to Get Married In the First Place, and the Tantalizing Possibility that Quantum Mechanics May Yet Prove that He Has Always/Never Been Married to that Cat in that Box that Scientists May or May Not Have Poisoned for Some Reason by Bill Dews

SUPERSTAR: THE AMAZING TRUE SAGA OF A NARCISSISTIC STELLAR OBJECT by Professor Ida Grands of the Cosmic Psychopathology Institute

Nothing Exists: the Counterintuitive Saga of How Reality Actually Exists by Serpenty Serpentson 

The Memory of Furniture a novel by H.H. Brill

Randomly Breaking Shit While Yelling Incoherently: My Life Changing Odyssey Through the Post-9/11 Universe by Butch Thruston

Patternicity Structures in the Worldaround Context by Smith Johns

10,000 Years of Honda Hotboxing: a Saga of the Future by Becky Rollingpape

Gas Line Explosion at the Comedy Open Mic: an Insider's Account of How Nothing of Value was Lost by Carl Hawtson

Pristine Valley: the Inside Story of the Visionaries Chasing the Dream of the World's First Self-Wiping Asshole by Clay Brown

Metamodern Approaches to Pre-Drywall Inspection: a Primer edited by William D. Tucker of the Shindig Institute

Mildly Psychic: My Life of Occasionally Being Able to Guess Shit Correctly by Johnny Nonmalta 

Audio Auto Fellatio: Tips and Hacks for the Up-and-Coming Podcaster by Jack Swallows

Football, Faith, and Family: One Man's Quest to Fill the Empty, Mocking Hole of Life with Various Activities by Eldo Parzival Butts

Governance Prospects of the New Millenium in Context: Challenges, Perceptions, Rewards, and Punishments by Johns Smith

Death Duel at the Farmer's Market: Localism and its Discontents by Firmalon Dukepour 

Angry Absolutions: My Journey of Faith, French Fries, and Fanny Packs by Father Merriman Tubebringer

Howl of Savings: The Citizens' Guide to Precision Coupon Clipping by Gordon Plasmellion 

"Ya'll play purdy, now!": Gladiator Capitalism of the New Reality: a Transcript of the Shindig Institute Symposium curated by William D. Tucker

Towards the New Derp: YouTube, Post-Literacy, and Adult Diaperism by Samuel Spooliston

Roast Beef Elitism: the Final Days of Fast Food Chic by Cornby Pressuredowl 

Blunt Instruments: Overapplications of Marijuana Smoke in Civil Engineering Projects by Murph Derby

Fortresses of Forbearance a novel by H.H. Brill

Rowdy Conformists: a Sociological Dream Life Analysis of NASCAR Fandoms in the Post 9/11 Universe by Dr. Hildegarde Crasher

Postures of Action: Late Capitalist Semiotics of Life Drawing Class Models by Dio McGillicutty

Perpetual Diarrhea: One Man's Quest to Become a Raging Asshole by Bob Tubecloggingson

The Need State of Necessary Necessities by Smith Johns

Liminal Feces: a Case Study of the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan's Phantom Shitter by McCubbins Delgado

Epizoochory as the Ultimate Freerider Threat to Libertarian Discourse: an Emergency Symposium of the Profits Without Limits Institute curated by Zapper Grabtube

"I honestly couldn't tell the difference": Porn Parodies and the Looming Ontological Crisis by William D. Tucker of the Shindig Institute 

Introduction to Quantum Proctology by Dr. Angela Fiberblast

Wild Stasis: My Inspirational Journey From Gestating Fetus to Inherited Wealth by Prince Geoffrey Poshstain 

Imperial Bowel Movements: Wastewater Portraits of British Royals by Dr. Audrey Strainer

Collaborative Bowel Movements: A Handbook for Communities by Danny Double Dumps 

Pushin' the Cushion: New Pillow Stress Test Paradigms in the Post-9/11 Universe by William D. Tucker of the Shindig Institute 

I WORK A DAY, I JERK A DAY: My Wild Journey into the Soda Jerk Revival Scene by Suds Spurtos

Opus 69: Putting the Sexy Back Into Classical Music by Melody Shamus

A Comprehender's Comprehensive Compendium of Comprehensive Comprehensions by and for Comprehenders by Smith Johns

A Certain and Familiar Doom a novel by H. H. Brill

Hallucinogenic Butt Crust, or How I Learned to Stop Wiping and Transform My Asscrack into a Garden of Hallucinatory Delights by Trip Crackson

Doing Backflips Forever: A Beginner's Guide to Injuring All of their Shit by Bannion Flail

Suspect Fluids: an Erotic Thriller by Busting Champeen

Postmodern Identity Performance in the Contemporary Security Theatre by Clortis Dannywall 

The Joy of Nonstop Unforced Errors: Living Your Best Worst Life at Maximum Volume by Flowery Sharpe

An Aesthetic Appreciation of Rudy Giuliani's Mystery Head Goo: a Shindig Institute Emergency Appreciation Symposium curated by William D. Tucker

Shart to the Top: A New Vision of the Protestant Work Ethic In Action by Bubba Swaingro 

The Secret Millennial Aspirations of Decade-ism: A Deep Dive Into (Not-So) Buried Desires by Cronus Sandwichian

The Joy of Unbridled Assholery: a Cultural History of the Unitary Executive by Jury Burnself 

Dirty Bombs: A Childhood Memoir of Sneaking Dog Turds into Snowballs by Scat Brinks

Forever Y2K: Annualized Approaches to the Millennium by Darst Apocahills 

FORM LIKE VOLTRON: Future Prospects of Rousseau's General Will in the Post-9/11 Universe: a Shindig Institute Symposium curated by William D. Tucker

Moist McSharty: The Wild, Unauthorized History of the Worst Fucking Name of All Times by Bends Hopceleratorson

Repetitive Heavy Lifting Motions: Principles and Precepts by Chet Beefhauser

Content and its Discontents by Smith Johns

Count Rimjobula's Castle of Rimjobs by E. Nebulon Yowzers 

"-that and seven bucks": Towards the Proverbial Cup of Coffee by Club Werkin

"I HAVE ARRIVED.": A Post-Liminality Reader edited by Sham Trenderson 

The Fucknuts of Supreme Mystery by Hortenzio Obitus 

"Stay on the scene like a guillotine": James Brown's Forgotten Time Travel Adventure to Revolutionary France by Rob Crownroller

Shartgeist: Spirit of the Sharting Age by Franklin Lectric Badgegoon

Getting High as Blank: How Smoking Weed Cured Me of Compulsive Swearing and Allowed Me to Become a Successful Children's Television Personality by Fluffy Nitro 

Liminal Nutbust: Pornogasmic Passages in the History of Fucking by Reginald Vroomspunk 

Procedural Prospects of Forecasting Processes: Theoretical Potentials and Speculative Possibilities by Smith Johns

Shartbusters: Hegelian Backlash to the Excesses of Shart Culture in Suburban Milwaukee by Loder Kurtesy 

Towards the New Crunchy: Flavor Theoretical Applications of Concrete in the Age of Candy Bar Couture by Brandi Conflict 

Shart Overboost: the Official Strategy Guide by Cyclical Incentives Publishing 

Generosity Paradigms of the New Bank Robber Class: an Overview edited by John Dillinger XXV and Robin Hood 2099

Shart Shards: Quest for the Overshart a novelization by Glaze Dominus adapted from the screenplay by Dan Buttervista, Fault Goderperson, Nigel Promptrealm, Stonebone Irongallop, Malware M. Scooty, and Linda Battleship

Hawks and Handsaws: a Consideration of Cryptic Shit by Joyce New

Liminal Shart: The Choice Between Wet or Dry in the Post-9/11 Universe by Albrecht Duty 

Abhorrent Albacore a novel of existential dread and tedium by Newton Wrexis

Shart's Requiem by Harry Tourniquet 

The Blame Beasts a novel by H.H. Brill

"Shart's alive, my dog!": Famous Last Words of the Post-Toilet Paper Era A Shindig Institute Symposium curated by William D. Tucker 

Grip and Countergrip: Grasping the Nuances of Secret Handshakes in the Realms of Shrinerdom by Elaine Coordinate

Moist McSharty and the Nutbust Crew: Counterintuitive Pathways Through the Labyrinth of Big Music's Globalization by Harriet Perseus 

Night of the Necronomicon Numbnuts by Ludwig Doe

Protagonist vs. the Sheer Thingness of Things a novel by William D. Tucker of the Shindig Institute

Perambulations in a Golden Nutbust by Empedocles Prufrock 

At the Mountains of Shartness by Humbert Pussywillow Lovecraft

The Magnificent Motherfuckers a Men's Adventure Novel by Shaftus McMotherson

Peer-to-Peer Proctological Prognostics by Jackal Overquestion 

The Magnificent Motherfuckers a novelization by Glaze Dominus based on a screenplay by Blown Butterdunk adapted from the novel by Shaftus McMotherson

Grievous Gunk: My Intimate Journey Into Cleaning My Bathtub After Putting It Off For Seven Or Eight Years Or Thereabouts, I'm Not Great With Timekeeping, You Know, I Really Just Prefer To Live In The Moment, Is That Such A Sin? by Quest Veering Dormant

The Return of the Magnificent Motherfuckers a novelization by Glaze Dominus based on a screenplay by Blown Butterdunk and Tab Position with characters from the novel by Shaftus McMotherson

The Physique Technique: A Guide for the Ripped'n'Shredded by Chet Beefhauser

"We just couldn't leave it to die on Earth": An Unauthorized History of Indie Scene Breakups, Burnouts, Shitty Music, and Assorted Melodrama in Late Twenty-First Century Martian Colonies by Adam Burngo

Grave Buffet: The Chilling True Story of Eating at the Country Buffet whilst Binge-Watching Friends on Your Mobile Device by Roger Turtle

Pondering the Precious Precipice of a Pluripotent Prospect: Post-Pandemic Potential and Provident Possibility Pre-Panic by Smith Johns

Firm Aspersions: A Guide to Assertive Casting by Redrick Ronaldson Eyeburr

Onslaught of the Magnificent Motherfuckers a novelization by Glaze Dominus adapted from a screenplay by Blown Butterdunk, Tab Position, Jeffman Explicatorson, and D'arcy Brainspoor distantly inspired by a novel by Shaftus McMotherson

FOREVER RIPPED: My Journey to Forever Muscles by Chet Beefhauser

The Asshole of Atlantis a speculative proctology by Jackal Overquestion with an Afterword by Dr. Angela Fiberblast

Post-Ripped Culture: The Death of Chet Beefhauser and the Advent of Neo-Shred by Bannion Flail 

The Dare and the Derp a novel by H.H. Brill 

The Shartblime: Florida Man and the New Aesthetics of the Unwiped Asshole by Reb Cracker

Sweet Nothings Whispered in the Ear of a Magnificent Motherfucker a novelization by Glaze Dominus adapted from the screenplay by Nora Perdition and Groove Manspunk freely adapted from a novel by Shaftus McMotherson

Steroids, Spontaneous Human Combustion, and You: A Guidebook For a New Kind of July Fourth Celebration by Chip Beefhauser

Ride the High Hard One a novel of penetrating masculinity by Shaftus McMotherson 

The NIMBY Numbnuts: Suburban Self-Destruction and the Rise of Dead Mall Nostalgia by Joyce New

The End of Dinner Table Issues: Universal Homelessness as Gordian Knot Solution to American Political Dysfunction a Shindig Institute Outdoor Symposium curated by William D. Tucker

The Blitherati: The Rise, Stumble, Fall, Rise, Catch Your Knee On that Sharp Coffee Table Corner, Stumble, Get Distracted by Some Ostentatious Family Heirloom You No Longer Recognize, Fall Asleep in the Middle of a Conversation, Suddenly Wake Up, and then Pass Out Because You Stood Up Too Quick, and Fall of Inbred Aristocracy by Ashley Husksight

Neo-Shred's Discontents: The Post-Beefhauserian Vacuum and the Struggle for the Ripped to Find a New Center in a Multipolar Muscle Culture by Bannion Flail

Drinking Gin 'Til You Vomit: A Citizens' Guide by Sam Bleargh

Multipolar Shartness: Towards the Unwiped De-consensus by Tamerlane Thompson

The Coffeehouse Enema Scene in Mid-Twenty-First Century Post-America a Shindig Institute Symposium curated by William D. Tucker

Airline Deregulation During the Carter Administration: Do You Give A Fuck? I Don't Think Either of Us Were Even Born, My Dude! Hope It's Not On The Test by Glimmer Urmbro 

The Goregeyser Gambit a novel by H.H. Brill 

Genital Giftwrap: Obnoxious Sexual Quirks of These Insufferable Assholes Who Are Big Into All This Stupid Christmas Bullshit by Herzog Gesualdo Waltzington 

Eating While Taking A Fat Shit: A Guide for the Hurried and the Impatient by Colin Mercury 

Shart's the Word a thriller by Ivan Guano Medley

Multipolar Motherfuckery: Confusions and Contusions in a World Defined by Various Opinions and Activities by Smith Johns

Drawing Endless Amounts of Random Shit: My Journey Into Comics by Scribblescratcher McDunkenbauer 

Even Genocidal Dictators Who Sabotage Democracy at Home and Abroad and Still Find the Time to Rob All of their Nation's Wealth Want Love Sometimes: A Romantic Biography of Vladimir Putin by Squirt Quisling 

Shart Wars: Florida Man In Conflict with Himself: A Psychohistory For Our Times by Dr. Perri Agriblunder 

Calorie Revolt: A Post-Tax Revolt Guide to the Ultimate Free Lunch by Tater Wallace Perot 

Liberderpianism in the New Blowjobological Context: Meditations Upon the Prospect of an Aborning Flibbertigibbet by Smith Johns

National Security Failures in the Age of Dysfunctional Governance: A Consideration of the Sources of Panic a Shindig Institute Reader curated by William D. Tucker

Spume of Passion an Historical Romance by Rosalind Bodacious

Fork in the Wall Socket: a Novel of Our Times by Herbie 'Toots' Hornswaggleson

Interactive Fictions: an Analysis of U.S. Environmental Policies in the Pre-Panic Era by Joyce New

"My God! It's full of sharts!": Cosmic Approaches to Florida Man edited by Russell U. Sumgrub

Firing the Cream Beam: Futuristic Approaches to Erotic Weaponry a Shindig Institute Symposium curated by William D. Tucker

Magnum Clitoris the novel of ultimate eroticism by Rosalind Bodacious

Shartcuterie: Shart Cuisine in the Age of Florida Man by Chef Algol Specious

Winsome Wealthy Wankers: Intimate Portraits of London's Upper (Butt)Crust by Nigel Perspumer

Relational Realities of the New Realism by Smith Johns

Fond Reminiscences in the Age of Temerity: Signs and Symptoms by Dr. Angel Perpwalker

Falling Down the Stairs Over and Over Again: My Counterintuitive Story of Triumph by Hornald Verybanging

Fraud as a Way of Life: Towards a New Ontology by Mark Skids

Fade Into Flesh a novel by H.H. Brill

Barely Giving a Fuck: A Critical Consideration of the Sitcom Work of Charlie Sheen by Joyce New

The Oscars, the Emmys, and the Golden Globes: A Semiotic Study of Circular Jerkular Motifs in Late Capitalism edited by Professor Ida Grands

Smooth Sailing: A Post-Hope Symposium on the Nature of Non-Evidentiary Optimism in the Post-9/11 Universe curated by William D. Tucker of the Shindig Institute

Heart of Shartness: A Consideration of  Florida Man's Psychological Need for Uncompromising Assholery by Joyce New

FINAL ANSWERS: The Looming Image of Regis Philbin Within the Global Televisual Collective Unconscious by Professor Ida Grands with a Foreword by William D. Tucker of the Shindig Institute

Holly's Secret Door a novelization by H.H. Brill adapted from the screenplay by Montalban Sigurnjak

Lobster Sharts: an Inquiry Into the Iniquity of Our Instantiations by Joyce New 

The Company Will Keep You Company: a Citizens' Guide to Post-Government by Milton Burnguy

Metaphor and Motherfucker a novel by H.H. Brill

Anticipatory Foundations of Cultural Antecedents: A Preparation Guide by Smith Johns

Fast Spatula: How I Decided to Stop Worrying and Just Go Work at Waffle House by Justice Hortensio B. Fuckit

Smack My Ass and Watch Me Scream: A Chronicle of What My Parents Said My Birth Was Like by Nick Timegone

City of Humping: A Future Worth Fighting For or An Inescapable Humpitarian Nightmare? YOU DECIDE THE ADVENTURE a Pervy Pathways Book by Justine Andross 

Telekinetic Bikini Wax: A Self-Teaching Guide by Johnny Nonmalta

Rando on the Throne: the Gripping True Crime Account of the Search For the Party Guest That Clogged My Toilet by Chasuble Contretemps (PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED UNDER THE TITLE Cairn of Shitlogs: My Quest For Justice)

Shart Dogs: A Meditation Upon Late Capitalist Subjectivity and the Perils of Having Your Canine Wear People Pants by Donald Beamular

Putin's Prostate: A Mystery of Presence and/or Absence by Linder Hole

The Shartistry of Ages: A Dead Mall Nostalgia Memorial Symposium In Praise of the Thomas Kinkade Store curated by William D. Tucker of the Shindig Institute

Shart Trooper: the Official Strategy Guide by Cyclical Publishing Incentives

Shart Hammer 69: the Official Strategy Guide by Cyclical Publishing Incentives

Shart Racing: the Official Strategy Guide by Cyclical Publishing Incentives

Shart Battler ZeroWiper: the Official Strategy Guide by Cyclical Publishing Incentives

Putin-Shaped Sharts: a Field Identification Guide for Shart Collectors by Ben Doodew

Voice of the Shart by Spirit Mecha Guru Zero DX: Death Xtra

Shart of the Shart: Connecting With Your Inner Shartness: A Guide For Spiritual Seekers by Spirit Mecha Guru Zero DX: Death Xtra

The Milf Beyond a novel of erotic transcendence by Rosalind Bodacious

"I will not run from my destiny. I will merely jog.": My Mildly Engaging Life of Half-Assed Mediocrity by Luke Warmerson

None More Insufferable: the Complete Shindig Institute Curations of William D. Tucker edited by Professor Ida Grands with an Introduction by H.H. Brill and featuring a Postscript by William D. Tucker with Special Musical Guest A Brontosaurus in Sheboygan 

IT CANNOT DIE.

IT HAS A MISSION.

IT RAIDS AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN . . .