Pick an action figure.
It can be your favorite, or it can be your least favorite.
If that doesn’t appeal to you then put all your action figures into a large laundry bag or shopping bag, shake it up,reach inside, and grab whatever touches your palm first. Think of your palm as a pressure switch. The fingers close to trap whatever presses the switch.
However you do it . . . pick an action figure.
Now that you’ve done that, have your chosen figure fight all of the other action figures to the death. You may choose the order of battle, or you can reach into the bag and use the palm pressure switch method.
Your chosen figure must battle all the rest until they are the last one left intact. All of the others must be broken to pieces, completely destroyed, dead to the last figure. Even if your chosen figure gets busted up before the end of this gauntlet, its ghost shall carry on the fight. Indeed, this might just devolve into you smashing and breaking figures while vocalizing explosion sound effects since, when you think about it, you are the animating spirit of all this strife, aren’t you?
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
People pray to their God to visit vengeance upon the people they don’t like in what passes for Real Life.
They pray to hide the fact that they wish they were a God of Vengeance-it’s a mask to cover their desire, isn’t it?
So pretentious.
We’ll have none of that.
We shall assert our Godhood over the figures, and be done with the lies and self-deceptions of the increasingly unconvincing Real World.
We’ll have some Actual Reality for a change.
I anticipate a wondrous sensation of refreshment.
