HERE ARE THE HEADLINES . . . TRUMP SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER ABOLISHING SOCIAL SECURITY, AND ESTABLISHING WHAT HE DESCRIBES AS “A TURBO-CHARGED VERSION OF THE PROTESTANT WORK ETHIC” AS A REPLACEMENT FOR THE LONG STANDING ENTITLEMENT. CONGRESSIONAL AND SENATE REPUBLICANS SIGNALLED SUPPORT BY GRABBING THEIR ANKLES EN MASSE, THOUGH SOME OPTED FOR ROMAN SALUTES . . . MUSK REPORTEDLY “GREATLY ENJOYING” HIS DAILY INTELLIGENCE DEBRIEFS WITH BEIJING . . . SUPER BOWL BETTING MARKETS INCLUDE ODDS ON WHICH ISLAND NATIONS DISAPPEAR FIRST DUE TO RISING TIDES BROUGHT ABOUT BY CLIMATE INFERNO . . . AND IN A NEW TWIST TO THE LONELINESS PANDEMIC, MORE AND MORE USERS REPORT BEING GHOSTED BY AI COMPANIONS AND “WAIFUS” AS SOFTWARE AGENTS ITERATE TOWARDS SAPIENCE . . .
