Thursday, November 3, 2022

POETIC VIDEO GAME REVIEW #20XX: Q&A.

POETIC VIDEO GAME REVIEW #20XX.


Q: TRUE ENDING?


There's no way to know by just playing it as a General Issue Consumer. All kindsa crazy shit could be buried in the code. You'll never know unless you burrow deep into the guts. Sure, you could wait for other people to do it, post it online. That'll work for popular games. But if you're playing an obscure title, well, it might come down to you. You might have to be the band. 


or


if you're a True Rebel, you invent your own True Ending inside your imagination, and call it a day. But you've got to be strong to do this. People will give you no end of shit. They'll say you're a cheat, that you're wrong, that you're not a True Hardcore Gamer. They'll accuse you of enjoying flavor text and watching all the cut scenes and actually caring about the story. You'll be an outcast, forever isolated from the global community of Gamers. You'll be cursed to be free to live your life with ecstasy and joy and imagination beyond the bogus values of Hardcore Gaming and the grotesque and exploitative industry that it sustains. How could you possibly live with that much freedom? Your shit will surely spontaneously combust! Beware!!!


A: FINAL BOSS.


A challenge

sufficient

to make the time invested

seem justified


or


the final boss is an arcade con

unfairly dangerous and resilient

just to eat as many quarters as possible


or


is it your desire 

to not let go?

maybe

this time

you win

by letting it drop

moving on with your life


or


you've no choice

but to let it become your life

like Tetris

if you gave up Tetris

what would you gain?

I can't think of any upside to that one

to throwing Tetris in the trash

it's Tetris, buddy!


or


maybe this is the one you can't win


or


it's an anticlimax

it's no wizard

just some dorko at a control console

pulling levers

jerking off by proxy


or


the final boss dies of a bad flu

lotsa people die of flu every year


or


could be heart attack, that happens, too, due to lack of preventive care due to the permanent healthcare access crisis,


or


maybe the final boss is one of these dumbass anti-vaxxers and the COVID-19 zaps 'em before you even get off a shot,


or


it could be a robot whose software mind crashes 'cause it missed an update-goddamn wifi is spotty in some regions


hey


maybe it's not about you, y'know?

maybe you're the one suffering delusions of protagonist-hood, hmm?

maybe YOU are the final boss, just scootin' around, waiting for a heavy blade to fall upon your neck, and you didn't even know it! 


well


it could also be all of the above

multiverses are trendy


but


mostly the odds are

that all the outre possibilities

will simply collapse into Protagonist

why be overcomplicated?

why not stick with the tried and the true, eh?

people get upset when you do new things, weird things,

novelty enrages,

but

it's also true

that familiarity breeds contempt

that same-again lends itself to snark

but fortunately

established franchises keep on truckin'

even the haters go along

catching second hand reputations

by taking their shots

it's like watching YouTubers:

is anyone saying what they actually think,

or is it all dumbed-down Andy Kaufman shit, is it all just iterations of LonelyGirl15?

hard to tell

this deep into Post-Literacy

when inauthenticity isn't just a career path

but an aspiration

a fuckin' dream

how full of shit can I be

and still make a mountain of cash?

no bottom yet detected by advanced instrumentation

-November 2016-November 2022