You achieve all goals only to get a too cute non sequitur. It's probably even harder to get than the alleged "good" ending. A cute shock to remind you that no game is worth that level of grind, my friend. Come on. Life's happening out there. Now let an obtuse breed of dog fly you home in this here flying saucer. Sure, sure, it's normal to feel slightly pissed off-wasn't this supposed to be a serious piece of work? Maybe even the much sought after "first truly artistic video game?" Of course it is! You shelled out for the Deluxe Collector's Day One Circular Jerkular Edition. Anything that expensive just has to be Art, my dawg. Yeah. Really makes you think. Like one of them-thar memes. Like the guy meeting the butterfly: IS THIS A PIGEON? Too much time divorced from meatspace, ensnared in a hermetically sealed, arbitrarily bounded non-reality . . . maybe the UFO mutt can give you a ride back . . .
-October 20XX
