Title: EXCELLENT BLAZER DX: DEATH XTRA: ADVENT OF COMFORT BLAZER
"The Original Happy Ending"
STATUS: PARTIALLY LOST. PROBABLY DESTROYED . . .
. . . okay, so . . . it's like this.
The Good Ending of the much maligned Excellent Blazer sidequel was all set for implementation . . . but the devs lost all faith in it.
It wasn't even that it was excessively romantic or naive or idealized or what have you.
It was going the other way, allegedly.
It was sociological and structural in nature. It had to do with cycles of boom and bust. Virtuality. The elusiveness of truth in the Hyperpostmodern Post-9/11 Universe. In the surviving footage you can see dinosaurs. They look good. People were probably chained to their workstations and fed through tubes to get it looking that good.
Truth be told, the surviving footage-aside from the awesome-ass thunder lizards-is a bewilderingly tasteless, utterly tentacular hentai riff that most will probably never admit to having seen with their own eyes even though statistical analysis of web traffic tells a blunt truth: a sizeable chunk of humans on planet Earth with Internet access have watched it multiple times from beginning to end.
Go ahead. Shudder for the soul of the species.
The footage in question plays like the most outre aspects of Drakengard going full Urotsukidoji with a sprinkling of the squalid DIY sensibilities of late 2000s SUPERREDACTED videos. Seek out this footage at your own peril.
Mercifully, there's no audio, though plenty of fandubbers and remix scamps have created their own soundtracks.
Allegedly, the audio was the most important part, consisting of an extended Platonic dialogue between recurring characters Protagonist and Vigilante Sword Maniac, but no trace of it remains.
I guess some things are better left buried, even if they're "happy endings" . . .
-May 20XX
